he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
