Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
