hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize