Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize