Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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