He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
