His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
