and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
