Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
