it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
