Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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