Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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