Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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