It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
