I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
