I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i now understand why vodka
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize