Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
