found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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