i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
