Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
