You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
