That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
