There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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