My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
