I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
