woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
