i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize