i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize