guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
