I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
