I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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