We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
