Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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