That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
