If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
