playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
