I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
