Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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