NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
