so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
