actually, I'm a sock model
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Small penises have feelings too.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
