They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
