Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
