I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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