Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
