do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
