Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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