____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize