She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
