never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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