today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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