I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
