Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You've changed since you got that strap on
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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