i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize