do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
