It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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