i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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