Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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