worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
