My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
