I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize