Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
