I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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