Buhtt sex?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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