I need help removing her.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
