I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
These tits shall not be calmed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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