i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
