Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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