Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
